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Art of the Father

20 May

(PHOTO: YMIB.com)

Editor’s Note: This essay is part of an ongoing series that poet and essayist Abdul Ali asked me to be a part of. He started it for his blog, Words Matter. Leading up to Father’s Day, Ali’s creating a space for a discussion on fatherhood. Here’s a memory I have of my father.

THE TOOLS IN HIS TRUCK RATTLE when we go over the slightest bumps. Dad and I might be cruising some street in D.C., Maryland, or Virginia. We might be on our way to a service call or on our way home from meeting a potential client.

Dad’s a self-employed master electrician/electrical contractor. He’s 6-foot-1 and might be considered athletic if it wasn’t for his paunch. His hands are rough and strong from the nature of his work. I once watched him lift a hammer, like Thor, to drive a six-foot metal spike into the earth. This was after he’d upgraded the electrical service of a house, and was splicing the ground wire to the spike.

(PHOTO: Courtesy)

At 6-foot-2, I fall short of such a man, who believes a man’s pride is his hard work. And because of his belief, this man from Trinidad and Tobago made a life for his wife and three kids in the U.S., where he emigrated to when he was 20 years old.

Because of hard work, he was the foreman on a job at the U.S. Embassy in Russia. Hard work and its rewards kept his family fed and off the streets.

A way he put it once was no man’s hands have time for foolishness. So you can imagine how he regarded my aspirations of wanting to be a writer. Though he supported them financially, dad mistook those aspirations for passing fads. And when they weren’t, the unprofitable writer’s life only affirmed his suggestion that I pick up a “real” craft.

(PHOTO: wd9hot)

So now I’m riding along with dad as a helper, after being laid off as a staff writer for a newspaper. At 29 and still living with my parents, how do I measure up to a man — who, at 28, had a successful business, was a homeowner, married (now going on 34 years), and a father?

One day, while on the road, he asked if I was still writing. At the time, I didn’t know he’d nearly read every article I wrote. Or that he rode around with several copies of the paper in his truck to pass out to his friends and customers.

When I tell him I couldn’t stop if I wanted to, I remember the poem I wrote for his 50th birthday; how he had it neatly folded in the top draw of his nightstand, next to his gold watch and expensive cufflinks.

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5 Comments

Posted by on May 20, 2010 in Essay

 

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5 responses to “Art of the Father

  1. andrew

    May 20, 2010 at 10:14 am

    Good piece! Loved it!

     
  2. Anna Renee

    May 20, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I agree! This is a great piece of writing! You made me wait for 5 weeks. Anyway, our fathers simply love us and are proud of us because we belong to them. But a good writer deserves the pride of his father!

     
  3. Joseph Ross

    May 23, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Alan – I just read and commented on your reflection on Abdul’s blog. It’s a beautiful, thoughtful piece. Thanks. Joseph Ross

     
  4. down45.net

    May 27, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Great Article. I Like It. Thanks Bro.

     
  5. kimabe

    June 9, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    another brilliant piece!

     

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